Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Dealing with Frustration An Analytical Approach to finding a Resolution

frus·tra·tion

frəˈstrāSHən/
noun
  1. the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.
    "I sometimes feel like screaming with frustration"
    synonyms:exasperationannoyanceangervexationirritation; More
    • an event or circumstance that causes one to have a feeling of frustration.
      plural noun: frustrations
      "the inherent frustrations of assembly line work"
    • the prevention of the progress, success, or fulfillment of something.
      "the frustration of their wishes"
      synonyms:thwarting, defeatpreventionfoiling, blockingspoiling, circumvention,forestalling, disappointmentderailment; More

There are many things in life that could lead to frustration. But before we define an event or circumstance as frustration, let's think about what is causing the feeling that we are having. That feeling, we've loosely defined as frustration, is not necessarily bad. We've associated a word, in this case frustrated, to a certain feeling we have and the word might have a negative connotation. However, that does not necessarily mean that the situation is frustrating. 

What is important is that you are getting a feeling, an emotional message that says something isn't right and needs to be fixed. In Jiu-Jitsu or wrestling it's most likely being beat by the same person or by the same move. This feeling is great. It means you are alive, aware, and realize that something isn't right. The worst situation would be that we are being beat by the same move or same opponent and feel complacent. The feeling of frustration should give us the motivation to change and do something different.

The next step is to process what is going on. A few questions you could ask are: When do I feel frustrated? How am I being beat? What is the position I am losing from? Where do I almost score? Where do I almost get a submission? These are a few questions you could ask and answer to help get through the feeling of frustration. 

There's no other way to overcome this feeling. You need to take an active role in figuring out the next step. This might be very difficult, but is part of the joy of learning and improving. Use the references you have around you for help. Your coach should be the first person you ask, but it's never a bad thing to help the upper belts or more experienced friends help. 

Once you've asked and defined the point of frustration you need to train. It it's a technical mistake you need to fix it and train it in drilling, situations, and rolling ample times. The more you can realize the position or situation and work through it with the solution you came up with the better you will be the next time you are faced with the situation. This can be difficult at first, but it is essential to process. It might be good to take advantage of an open mat session, time after training, or private lessons to drill the position and play an active resistance until satisfactory. (Dave Schultz, a legendary American wrestler is said to have stayed after wrestling practice a focus on one position he was beat and fix it until he was satisfied with how he could wrestle from that position. Sometimes that took 10 minutes, sometimes he would be there for hours after training, figuring out a specific position.) The process of training your self on your own is essential in improvement and overcoming the feeling of frustration. 

When you feel frustrated.... Rejoice! It means you've found a place with training partners that will challenge you. A place where you will need to seek out answers on your own and do a lot of self discovery. Acknowledge the feeling and embrace it! Don't allow semantics to persuade you into thinking it's a negative thing. The feeling is simply a way for you to realize you need to do something different. The challenge is finding the specific problem area and creating a solution. Once you've taken those steps, the next challenge is to train the solution so that you can perform it on anyone. The process could take a few minutes or months, but an important thing to remember is that this challenge is the fun we find in learning jiu-jitsu both on and off the mat! 

Eliot Kelly
El Dorado Hills, CA
916.595.4064 





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